Saturday, July 21, 2012

What kind of a Bombayite are you?


Photo Credit - www.commonfloor.com


So, what kind of a Bombayite are you?
Are you the kind that wakes up to the sound of the trains or of the buses?
Or are you the kind that wakes up to an alarm in an AC room?
Are you the kind that gets out in the dead of night to explore this city or are you the kind that is scared stiff of this city’s nights?
And when you do get out in the dead of night, do you explore this city on foot?
Or on a bicycle or in a car zooming across the sea-link or in a train going along in its own rhythm or maybe atop a double-decker bus, leaning out of the front window?
Are you the kind that thinks this city is set on a soundtrack or are you the kind who sees no rhythm in this chaos?
And if you do feel the beat, then is it Sufi Qawwali or is it a folksy, earthy lavni beat or maybe a thumping party song?
Are you the kind that colour-codes this city as per property rates, or religious ghettos, or taxi-areas vs auto-areas, or maybe western line vs central line?
Or maybe you are the kind whose idea of exotic is someday making a trip to Mohammed Ali Road and trying its firni. Whose idea of adventure is driving through Dharavi. Whose idea of compassion is making a fancy contribution to the local temple with much fanfare. Whose idea of journalism is words like “fabulous, pioneering, unprecedented” for things that are “mediocre, copied, regressive”
Are you the kind we saw in Satya or Wake Up Sid or we read about in Shantaram or Sacred Games? Or maybe you are the kind all of them forgot to show in their work
Were you the one wrecking havoc in the streets or the one cowering at home in ’92?
Are you the one who cried himself to sleep in a distant city on 26/11 or are you the one who stared all night all bleary-eyed into the Times Now TV screen?
Are you the kind who makes this city’s essential “spirit”? That same spirit which we are told is its endurance test but actually is a recurring collective nightmare?
During monsoons, are you the kind who sees this city as a perpetually leaking gutter or are you the kind who sits by his little window with a cup of tea and romanticizes over a patch of greenery in the corner?
Are you the kind who cant bear its constant fish smell and maddening humidity or are you the kind who notices its constant breeze and the fact that one can sweat away the heat?
Are you the kind who celebrates an unexpected holiday when this city floods/blasts/goes on a strike/calls a bandh? Or are you the kind who steps out just to prove a point, even though no one cares?
Are you the kind who sits in his auto in a traffic jam, abusing his life, his very existence? Or are you the kind who steps out and walks and walks and reaches home and then abuses his life, his very existence?
Or maybe you are the kind who still watches the screen in a TV shop when India plays cricket. Then again, you could have moved to a sports bar cheering for more skilful, albeit foreign, sports and sportsmen
You could also be the kind who earns 10 lacs a month and yet cant afford anything but a train ticket because in this city, a car doesnt run on rail tracks and comes with a fuel tank
Are you the kind that gets inspired by this city’s daily story of decay or are you the kind that shuts it out behind a curtain to really hear the voice within?
Are you the kind who had no choice but to come here and have grown to love it? Or are you the kind who is still pining for home and not been converted yet? Or maybe you are the kind who lived here forever but it never felt like home
Are you the kind who feeds on this city’s energy, passion and single-mindedness? Or are you the kind who feeds on this city’s paranoia, stress and narrow-mindedness?
Are you the kind whose story is defined by this city or are you the kind who defines this city’s story?

Is this city your nemesis or are you its miracle?
Is this city your Gotham or are you its Dark Knight? 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Eight

I have a weekend of doing absolutely nothing to look forward to
I am sitting at home on a friday night with no work to finish and no one to meet
So i copy paste a tag I came across on the blog of this senior from work whom I really admire
And then I write 900 words of crap
The tag is the number 8
Here goes

Eight Things I am Passionate About
1.    Indian Media – so many layers, so many sub-plots, so much money
2.    Indian Cinema – every era, every hero, every director
3.    Cricket – dreamt of becoming Sachin, then Harsha, now Neville Cardus
4.    Mumbai’s street food – yes its limited, but I am vegetarian and it serves me well
5.    Lyrics of songs – The beauty, simplicity and music of poetry
6.    Mumbai - as a city, as a muse
7.    Social sciences – it has opened up a new world to me, which my education had hitherto kept hidden from me
8.    Cars – I don’t enjoy driving them. I enjoy sitting in them. I want one for every mood, every occasion

Eight Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1.    Own a yacht
2.    Give autographs
3.    Give a speech to more than 1000 people at a time
4.    Make a movie with Shahrukh and Aamir together
5.    Find a way to capture the beauty and importance of Rahul Dravid and show it to my kids someday
6.    Appear in the primary school social science textbooks
7.    Become a Harvard scholar
8.    Spend my last years on an island owned by me

Eight Places I Want to Visit
1.    London – the city my Grandfather told me millions of stories about
2.    Pakistan – to ascertain how different/similar we really are
3.    Konya, Turkey – Prof Matthew used to talk about it. Find Rumi fascinating
4.    Andamans – I want to write a story set in the cellular jail there
5.    Iran – the home of some very courageous artists, film-makers, writers
6.    New Zealand – the unbelievably different flora and fauna that exists there
7.    Sydney – technically, I don’t want to visit the place. I want to live there. It is one of the most expensive and beautiful cities in the world
8.    New York – Well, because it is the media and marketing capital of the world. Also because it is such a crazy melting pot of cultures

Eight Things I Say Often
1.    Ok – in a very derogatory, superior sort of way. To end an argument which I feel uninterested in continuing
2.    Stranger things have happened – coz i really believe in it
3.    What The Fuck! – I work in media, I studied in MICA, I live in Mumbai. I obviously encounter wonder on a daily basis!
4.    Boss – Because ‘Bhaiyya’ is too Delhi thuggish and in Bombay, right from the autodriver to the domestic help to your actual senior, are truly, your boss
5.    Yo! – picked it up from the younger bro, makes me feel younger than I am
6.    Signal se right lena. Right hai nahi, par log le lete hain. Warna ekdum aage se u-turn maarke aana padega. Aapki marzi hai. – once everyday to the taxi driver on my way to office
7.    Boss, follow up chalu hai. Uska TOI ke saath exclusive deal hai. We will try our best – for every ad I have ever missed
8.    Kya kare boss, isse zyaada ka visibility nahi dikh raha iss month. We will try our best – for every time the boss wants to increase the target

Eight Books I Have Read Recently
1.    Chinaman by Shehan Karunatilaka – beautiful book on sport and life in Sri Lanka
2.    Hamlet’s Blackberry by William Powers – Awesome insights on how to not become a slave to technology in today’s world
3.    The Meaning of Sport by Simon Barnes – easily the best book I have read this year.
4.    Sea of Poppies by Amitava Ghosh – very imaginative, engaging story-telling
5.    The Fourth Estate by Jeffery Archer – coz I read it once every few months
6.    Lucknow Boy by Vinod Mehta – an insider’s look into the Indian media world
7.    Death in Mumbai by Meenal Baghel – the story of Maria Susairaj. Good journalistic work
8.    Adventures in a TV Nation – Micheal Moore’s inside look on a reality show that shook America

Eight Songs I Can Listen to Again and Again
1.    Subah Hone Na De from Desiboys – Sorry, but I am in love with this song
2.    Wahan kaun hai tera from Guide – SD Burman’s voice and a very melancholy mood makes this song very close to me
3.    Maaeri by Euphoria – too many memories, too many associations
4.    Somewhere only we know by Keane – MICA nostalgia song I
5.    Anjani raahon mein kya dhundta phire by Lucky Ali – MICA nostalgia song II
6.    Wicked Game by Chris Isaak – Doubles up as a great love as well as make-out song
7.    High Hopes by Pink Floyd – What lyrics, what guitar!
8.    Sultans of Swing Live at Alchemy by Dire Straits – What drums, what guitar, what a voice!

Eight Things That Attract Me to My Friends
1.    Open-mindedness
2.    Talkativeness
3.    Willingness to trust
4.    Willingness to argue your point till either one drops dead
5.    Sarcasm
6.    Looks
7.    Knowledge of things I have no clue of
8.    Artistic pursuit